In this episode, writer, licensed psychotherapist, and leadership consultant Blair Glaser joins us to talk about what she calls a “near cult” experience: 16 months living at Gurumayi's Siddhi Yoga ashram in South Fallsburg, New York, in the 1990s. Blair arrived hoping to chop vegetables and chant, but instead became the caretaker for one of the swamis, a role that quietly confirmed a lifelong pattern of managing other people's emotions while abandoning her own.
We trace the slow, incremental pull: a boyfriend who meditated, a mantra that worked during a suicidal crisis, undeniable synchronicities, and a community of artists and theater people that felt like the crowd she’d always wanted to belong to. We cover the doctrine that a guru can see “the blueprint of your soul,” how that belief gave Gurumayi enormous power, and the moment Blair realized spiritual practice didn't produce the mastery she'd been sold. Plus, the reckoning after Baba Muktananda's abuse allegations broke and she understood what her teacher’s teacher had done.
Be sure to pick up Blair’s memoir, This Incredible Longing: Finding My Self in a Near-Cult Experience, and read her article on HuffPost inspired by The Vow: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/hbo-the-vow-living-in-a-cult_n_5f8e4dd2c5b67da85d20f875
Check out Blair Glaser’s website, BlairGlaser.com, and Substack at TheHiStack.substack.com and follow her on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.
If you liked this episode, you might like our episode with Dan Shaw from Season 1.
Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of suicidal ideation, eating disorders, depression, spiritual and sexual abuse, sexual misconduct and shame, celibacy, and coercive group dynamics.
Also…let it be known that:
The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.
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CREDITS:
Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames
Production Partner: Citizens of Sound
Co-Creator: Jess Tardy
Audio production: Will Retherford
Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore
Writer and administrator: Sandra Nomoto
Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane
Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin
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