PATREON REPLAY: Sarah and Nippy Answer Your Questions

[00:00:00] Hey, are you planning to get an updated COVID-19 vaccine?

[00:00:03] Yep, I don't want to get seriously sick.

[00:00:06] And miss out on spending time with friends and family.

[00:00:08] Does it cost a lot? I don't have insurance.

[00:00:11] If you don't have health insurance,

[00:00:12] or if your insurance doesn't cover an updated COVID-19 vaccine,

[00:00:16] you can get one for free with the Bridge Access program.

[00:00:19] Just look for places that participate in Bridge Access on Vaccines.gov.

[00:00:23] Sounds good. Bridge Access on Vaccines.gov.

[00:00:26] A message from CDC. Yeah. That was a weird noise. So we're here in Vancouver tonight is actually as we record New Year's Eve, but you're going to be getting this on January 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th. You'll get this on January 5th. So it'll be also still in the window where you can say Happy New Year to people. Yeah, we won't be very different as people by then probably.

[00:01:41] I feel like I'm going to be different.

[00:01:43] I'm setting my intentions for the year, which in the be of course, roles as I as that, but

[00:01:47] I do not. after tomorrow, it's going to be the real move, if that makes sense. And so all the traveling, the hour and a half in a car every day is going to be spent producing better content. How about you? Yeah, I feel like that last four months was us just like having an extended trip at other people's homes in Atlanta. So I'm excited to go back and actually nest and build a home and have a podcast room and

[00:03:03] settle into that lifestyle.

[00:03:06] And this whole thing is a lot of reflection and the word gratitude has kind of also been overused because I want to say I'm grateful for you all. I think there's a word salad for gratitude out there. I think you did it already. But my point is is that you guys don't know that this Patreon thing, which by the way, I didn't even know what that was when we started a podcast.

[00:04:20] I never even heard of Patreon.

[00:04:21] And then when people said, oh, you should do a Patreon, I was like, yeah, I don't want

[00:04:25] to ask people to like pay anything around sales was so still so gross to me. figured out who we're going to interview from one taste and Aro's Mundo the Mexican one we just haven't we don't know who we're going to interview, but we're working on that definitely schmaddmark But like I kind of feel that it's been done like we've what we we could do a specific episode devoted to it But I just I really don't want to get sued It's been a big year isn't that the reason it needs to be done because these people are blatantly abusing their power and the reason they exist

[00:05:44] It's because people are afraid to hold them accountable

[00:06:42] and I don't know how much you guys follow all the different comments on Instagram or whatever,

[00:06:45] but every episode we do,

[00:06:47] most of the comments, 99% of the comments in the feedback

[00:06:50] is positive, which of course we love,

[00:06:51] but there's always one person who's got a problem

[00:06:55] with one thing that we've said.

[00:06:56] And most of the time, I can handle that

[00:06:58] and it's usually very constructive,

[00:07:00] but sometimes it's just so funny to me

[00:07:03] that it's just the whole episode, so many people are like,

[00:07:06] oh my God, was a surprise to me. Because every now and then, I would say, like every six months, I get something negative personally.

[00:08:23] And this was one of them.

[00:08:24] She wrote, I'm sorry for what you went through,

[00:08:26] but how are you not in prison with Alison Mack? and I felt triggered after watching the vow, forgive my ignorance and I'm truly sorry for what you went through. So I wrote, I wrote back totally forgiven. Thank you, heart emoticon. I get it. It's triggering. Thank you for owning that. And she wrote, thank you. I do own it. And I really hope you continue to heal the holidays. I like that. I remember thinking like, wow, that's so crazy. You normally just get, it gets into a war. And then I would

[00:09:44] have blocked them anyway. But the fact that, you know what? I went back downstairs and I saw her get out of the car and I was like, I'm sorry. I just want to say like, are you okay? And then she started to cry. And it was like, I'm not okay. I got stuck in Mexico, my dog's sick. And I just like, the parking thing was one more thing. Obviously it's not about the parking. I was like, I'm like, I get it. It's the holidays.

[00:11:00] It's so stressful.

[00:11:01] And we shoot a mask on.

[00:11:02] But I, other hours I totally would have hugged her.

[00:11:04] I'm like, can I give you an air hug?

[00:11:05] And she's like, yeah.

[00:11:06] So we kind of like cried's a bunch of knowledge. Yeah, it made a lot of things clear. Like what Anthony? Well, like what narcissists do particularly how it's transactional and it allows you to see also the distinctions between like narcissistic behavior and an actual narcissist. Like narcissistic behavior

[00:12:23] most people can grow out of, right? A narcissist doesn't and they're always strategizing and they're When people talk to you about the vow. Well, obviously, because it's Nancy Heavy, the questions go towards Nancy. And some of them are like, why so much Nancy? Which is a fair question. But I think that was probably the best way to follow someone's story of reconciliation, even though she's probably reconcilating for the next two or three years while in jail. But really the consistency of people's impressions

[00:13:41] of Nancy, which is, they think she got it.

[00:13:44] They think she's, at the end, when she's crying,

[00:13:46] they think it's real, but it was funny shit. And I was like, you should just come home and we should record and riff. And I told Sarah last night, I was like, what if we just had an old member on just shot the shit with them about what they remembered and went from there. Sarah was like, no, not on my watch.

[00:15:02] I did not say that. Well, you know, it I think. It was everything is angling for that. From Karen's story when he's a freshman in high school to now the behavior didn't change. I think if he just uses intelligence or faux intelligence for something else, that was what ran that guy. Well he can't do that now.

[00:16:20] I wonder if anyone, if he's made friends there, do you think about that?

[00:16:24] Never.

[00:16:25] In recollections with ex-members, there couldn't be defensive because then I'd be like

[00:17:41] flipping it back on him and be like gaslighting in a way, you know, like, well, you know, that

[00:17:45] feedback's not true because you don't even you don't even get more support from strangers in that regard. I think ultimately, because now it's undoubtedly we've turned it into a positive. There are people that now are coming out and wanting to be a part of it in a lot of sense. And that's fine. I welcome that. Anyone that wants to add positivity to positivity,

[00:19:00] I welcome that.

[00:19:01] I don't really hold a grudge.

[00:19:02] I don't care.

[00:19:03] I don't think about it because I've

[00:19:05] got little bandwidth as it is.

[00:19:07] There's just a lot of energy for grudges. to savage. Let's play some voicemails. Hi Sarah and Nippy, my name is Yara and I'm calling from the Pacific Northwest. You guys are so incredible and brave and amazing and I just I'm so deeply thankful for what you're doing and what you have done so far that you're putting your story out there to help others. You have

[00:20:22] personally helped me in my healing journey. each other and that it's a safe environment,

[00:21:47] the safest possible environment, I hope that was not a word salad and that the question made sense to you guys. Have a wonderful day. Yara, I really love that question. I got actually kind of emotional. It has to happen at least once. It does. Because I kind of flashed back to the early days of leaving Nexium and it was fucking messy.

[00:23:00] I'm not going to lie.

[00:23:01] I wish I knew everything I knew now because I probably would have done things differently

[00:23:05] with members and ex members. left and then they were like still angry and didn't, there was a lot of misplaced anger and, you know, people just sort of stopped talking to each other because I think we just all kind of triggered each other because we didn't have language yet to deal with the emotions that were coming up in a way that was like safe. Like if we'd all just gone into like a cult recovery program right then, we probably would have been, we would have been able to navigate that better, but we didn't, we were

[00:24:23] just flailing around and going like, we definitely don't want to be a part of that and that's

[00:24:26] really crazy. under trauma because then you'll stay there and you won't evolve your trauma. So there's things that I did that took the advice of Stephen Haas and Yanya Lallach. And I just found something that I knew I was disciplined and then doubled down on it to kind of build a foundation of grounding that I knew what I was doing. So if that's running it or whatever it might be, yoga or whatever it is, do something active. And I feel like all those little drops in the bucket every day have a compounding interest.

[00:25:43] They tried to put me on drugs or that one woman said, have you considered this?

[00:25:47] And that lit a fire in my ass. types of trauma. Yeah, what I'm saying is you don't have to reconcile your delusion around being sexually abused. That's not your process for figuring out your trauma. It was mine. Everybody in Nexium had different types of trauma and different types of interactions and different things to work through. But like, what Nabi just said, find the thing that works for you that will help you physically. And obviously, if you've come out of a yoga call doing yoga is not a good idea.

[00:27:02] For me, it was, but also doing yoga in a trigger. I remember there was one woman who was a coach who got out and she went to massage school and the massage teacher had like an orange scarf, the same shape as a sash. And that woman had a PTSD reaction and couldn't continue studying

[00:28:22] with this woman or massage school or whatever it was. So those kinds of things could be super packages and there's still more because we've opened up the inner circle. But the lip balm, the hat, the book, I hope everyone who signed up for that enjoys it. If you didn't and you want to, it's not too late. Really appreciate everyone who's done that. Just a reminder, it does say it and we've honored the people who signed up, but we're trying to keep it just to the US because shipping outside of the US is a crazy expensive cost

[00:29:40] more than the merch itself.

[00:29:42] So silly.

[00:29:43] But anyway, we appreciate people wanting that and your work and the vow and Paige was like, what? That's crazy that people know you like this.

[00:31:00] And it just, it really does affirm that we're doing the right thing.

[00:31:04] And it's very, it's very meaningful to us.

[00:31:06] So thank you, Barbara.

[00:31:07] Thank you, Yara.

[00:31:08] Thank you.